How To: Play Super Meat Boy + Defeat Dr. Fetus + Save Bandage Girl

Super Mario Brothers!  No, wait...

Super Meat Boy!  Yep, that's right.  Meat.  As in "cube" steak.  As in a square piece of beef with eyes and a shitty grin, who just happens to be in love with a band-aid.  I have no idea why.  And no matter how shocked you are to see your dinner on your screen, it doesn't change the fact that this platform game is AWESOME!

And guess who makes it?

Team Meat.

Yep.  All the girls must love them.

These masterminds behind Super Meat Boy are none other than Edmund McMillen and Jonathan McEntee, the developers of the original Meat Boy, a Flash-based web game found on Newgrounds.

But Meat Boy advanced into the super realms of Xbox Live Arcade (10/20) and Windows PCs (11/30), with future release dates soon for Mac OS and even Linux.

In Super Meat Boy, Meat Boy tries to rescue his girlfriend (if you can call her... um... it that) Bandage Girl from Doctor Fetus.  WHOA!  Wait a minute... DR. FETUS!?!

Yep, that's right.  But just because this fetus got his medical degree before exiting the womb (aren't we all jealous?), doesn't mean this game isn't AWESOME!  Yes... I said it... twice.  And why do I say "awesome" twice?  Because this isn't your ordinary platformer— it's hard.  So hard that Super Mario fans will likely stick to the lovable dinosaur Yoshi, instead of the pounded, flattened sweet piece of redness.

If you want to learn how to play Super Meat Boy— or how to beat Super Meat Boy— The Hamster Alliance have created a series of Super Meat Boy walkthrough videos, showing you every trick to kicking Dr. Fetus's shriveled up little ass.

BUT WAIT!

Before you get to the video walkthroughs below, if you're an artist, drink lots of vodka and just happen to speak Russian, then you have a chance to design the newest cover for the PC version of Super Meat Boy.  If you meet the criteria, then check out Supermeatboy.com for more info.

Okay, now you can see how to win at Super Meat Boy on the PC.  The process is slightly different for Xbox 360 gamers, but you'll get the picture, unless you're entranced by the marvelous retro arcade beats.

Step 1 World 1: The Forest (Light) + Boss (Lil Slugger)

Levels  1-1: Hello World, 1-2: Upward, 1-3: The Gap, 1-4: Nutshell, 1-5: Holy Mountain, Warpzone: Skypup, 1-6: Bladecatcher, 1-7: Diverge, 1-8: The Bit, 1-9: Safety Third, 1-10: The Levee, 1-11: Fired, 1-12: Revolve, Warpzone: The Commander, 1-13: Tommy's Cabin, 1-14: Blood Mountain, 1-15: Cactus Jumper, 1-16: Sidewinder, 1-17: Morningstar, 1-18: Altamont, 1-19: Intermission, Warp Zone: Hand Held Hack, 1-20: The Test, Lil Slugger

Step 2 World 2: The Hospital (Light)

Levels  2-1: Biohazard, 2-2: One Down, 2-3: Memories, 2-4: Blew, 2-5: Big Empty, 2-6: The Grain, 2-7: Hush, 2-8: The Sabbath, Warpzone: The Bootlicker, 2-9: Blood Swamp, 2-10: Johnny's Cage, 2-11: Ghost Key, 2-12: Above Warpzone: Castle Crushers, 2-13: Ulcer Pop, 2-14: Aunt Flo, 2-15: Gallbladder, Warpzone: The Blood Shed, 2-16: Synj, 2-17: Worm Food, 2-18: Destructoid , 2-19: Six Feet, 2-20: Day Breaker

Step 3 2-20 + Boss Fight (Chad) + World 3: Salt Factory (Light) + Boss (Brownie)

Levels  2-20: Day Breaker, Boss Fight: C.H.A.D., 3-1: Pit Stop, 3-2: The Salt Lick, 3-3: Push, 3-4: Transmissions, 3-5: Uptown, Warpzone: Cartridge Dump, 3-6: The Shaft, 3-7: Mind The Gap, 3-8: Boomtown, 3-9: Shotzie!, 3-10: Breakdown , 3-11: Box Tripper, 3-12: The Dumper, 3-13: The Bend, 3-14: Gurdy , 3-15: Vertigo, 3-16: Mono, 3-17: Rustic, 3-18: The Grundle, 3-19: Dig, 3-20: White Noise, Boss Fight: Brownie

Step 4 World 4: Hell (Light)

Levels  4-1: Boilermaker, 4-2: Brindle, 4-3: Heck Hole, 4-4: Hex, 4-5: Pyro, 4-6: Leviathan, 4-7: Rickets, 4-8: Weibe, 4-9: Deceiver, 4-10: Ball N Chain 4-11: Oracle, 4-12: Big Brother, 4-13: Lazy, 4-14: Adversary, 4-15: Abaddon, 4-16: Bow, 4-17: Lost Highway, 4-18: Boris, 4-19: The Hive, 4-20: Babylon

Step 5 World 4: Hell (Light) + Boss (Little Horn) + World 5: The Rapture (Light)

Levels  4-20: Babylon, Boss Battle: Little Horn, 5-1: The Rapture, Warpzone: Skyscraper, 5-2: Evangel, 5-3: Ripe Decay, 5-4: Rise, 5-5: Panic Switch, 5-6: Left Behind, 5-7: The Fallen

Step 6 World 5: The Rapture (Light) + Boss Battle ( Larries Lament)

Levels  Warpzone: The Kid, 5-7: The Fallen, 5-8: Descent, 5-9: Abomination, 5-10: Grinding Mill, 5-11: Heretic, 5-12: 10 Horns, Warpzone: Sunshine Island, 5-13: The Lamb, 5-14: King Carrion, 5-15: The Flood, 5-16: Rotgut, 5-17: The Kingdom, 5-18: Gate of Ludd, 5-19: Wrath ,5-20: Judgement, Boss Fight: Larries Lament

Step 7 World 6: The End (Light) + Boss Battle (Dr. Fetus)

Levels  6-1: The Pit, 6-2: Schism, 6-3: Echoes, 6-4: Gently, 6-5: Omega, Boss Battle: Dr.Fetus

Step 8 World 7: The Cotton Alley (Light)

Levels  7-1: Pink Noise, 7-2: Run Rabbit Run, 7-3: Spinal Tap, 7-4: Stag, 7-5: Tommunism, 7-6: Panic Attack, 7-7: Tunnel Blower, 7-8: Pig Latin, 7-9: Hatch, 7-10: Bullet Bob, 7-11: Train Eater, 7-12: Peel, 7-13: Pepto, 7-14: Watchtower, 7-15: Lock Out

Step 9 World 7: The Cotton Alley (Light) + World 1: The Forest (Dark)

Levels  7-16: Hopscotch, 7-17: Lead Sheets, 7-18: Oobs Revenge, 7-19: The Rash, 7-20: Four Letter Word, 7-3: Spinal Tap, 1-1X: Oh, Hello, Warpzone: Glitch World 1-0, 1-2X: Onward, 1-3X: BZZZZZ, 1-4X: Plum Rain, 1-5X: Creamsoda, 1-6X: I Am The Night, 1-7X: Two Roads, 1-8X: Big Red ,1-9X: So Close, 1-10X: Walls, 1-11X: Doused, 1-12X: Fireal, 1-13X: Tommy's Condo, Warpzone: Space Boy

Step 10 World 1: The Forest (Dark) + World 2: The Hospital (Dark)

Levels  Glitch: -1, 1-7X: Two Roads, 1-13X: Tommy's Condo, 1-14X: Mystery Spot, 1-15X: Kick Machine, 1-16X: Night Game, 1-17X: The Clock, 1-18X: Whitewash, 1-19X: The Queener ,1-20X: A Perfect End, Warpzone: Space Boy, Warpzone: Sky Pup, Warpzone: Hand Held Hack, 2-1X: Biohazard, 2-2X: Pinkeye Falls, 2-3X: Buzzzzcut, 2-4X: Blown, Glitch: -2

Step 11 World 2: The Hospital (Dark)

Levels  Glitch Warpzone: -2, 2-5X: Agent Orange, Warpzone: 1977, 2-6X: Cher Noble , 2-7X: The Moon, 2-8X: Grape Soda, 2-9X: Centipede, 2-10X: The Kracken, 2-11X: Spineless, 2-12X: Grey Matter

Step 12 World 2: The Hospital (Dark)

Levels  Glitch Warpzone: -1, 2-6X: Cher Noble (bandage), 2-7X: The Moon (bandage), Warpzone: 1977, 2-12X: Grey Matter (bandage), 2-13X: Dust Bunnies, 2-14X: Crawl Space , 2-15X: Insurance?, 2-16X: P.S.Y., 2-17X: Nels Box, 2-18: Destructoid, 2-20: Day Breaker, 2-18X: Electrolysis, 2-19X: Tenebrae, 2-20X: Solemnity, 3-5: Uptown, 3-4: Transmissions, 3-2: The Salt Lick, 3-1: Pit Stop, 3-3: Push, 3-7: Mind The Gap, Warpzone: Tunnel Vision ,3-11: Box Tripper, Glitch: -3, 3-15: Vertigo, Warpzone: The Jump Man (Ogmo)

Step 13 World 2: The Hospital (Dark)

Levels  Warpzone: Cartridge Dump, Glitch level: -3, 3-1X: Step One, 3-2X: Salt + Wound, 3-3X: The Red Room, 3-4X: Assemble, 3-5X: Wasp, 3-6X: Not You Again, 3-7X: Pluck, 3-8X: Salt Crown, Warpzone: Kontra

Step 14 Cleanup The Forest & The Hospital + World 3: The Salt Factory (Dark)

Levels  1-7X: Diverge, 1-18: Altamont, Warpzone: Castle Crushers, 2-13: Ulcer Pop, 2-18: Destructoid, Warpzone: The Blood Shed, Warpzone: 1977, 3-2: The Salt Lick, 3-11: Box Tripper, Warpzone: Tunnelvision, 3-9X: Goliath, 3-10X: Exploder, 3-11X: The Salt Man, 3-12X: Hellevator, 3-13X: Black Circle, 3-14X: Salmon, 3-15X: Vertebreaker

Step 15 Cleanup in World 3: The Salt Factory (Dark) + World 4: Hell (Dark)

Levels  3-16X: The Chaser, 3-17X: Ashes, 3-18X: Bile Duct , 3-19X: El Topo, 3-20X: Sweet Pea, Warpzone: Kontra, 4-1: Boilermaker, 4-2: Brindle ,4-13: Lazy, Warpzone: The Key Master, 4-16: Bow, 4-17: Lost Highway, Warpzone: Brimstone, Warpzone: The Fly Guy (Flywrench), 4-1X: Gretel, 4-2X: Golgotha

Step 16 World 4: Hell (Dark)

Step 17 World 4: Hell (Dark) + World 5: Rapture (Light) & (Dark)

Step 18 World 5: Rapture (Dark) + World 6: The End (Dark)

Oh... and let's not forget World 7: Cotton Alley (Dark) + Dr.Fetus (Dark)